Beyond the Blazer

the courage to be the same person in every room

At my most recent speaking engagement, a girl my age came up to me at the end and asked me a question I’ve never received before in that kind of setting.

She asked me,

“What’s one thing people don’t understand about you when you come to speak at all these events? What do you wish people knew about who you are?”

I was slightly taken aback by her question and also pleasantly refreshed.

I had never been asked such an intimate yet thoughtful question when I was meeting someone for the first time.

I asked her why she asked me that question, and she said, “Well, obviously people probably see you as super professional because of your bio that’s always read and the way you speak. But I’m sure that’s tiring sometimes. I guess I wanted to know what kind of person you are with your friends and people close to you.”

And she didn’t say this with any sort of underlying judgment or malice. It was sincere and genuine, as if she really just wanted to know me for me.

I paused and thought about her question for a while and then told her, “Hmm… something people don’t often understand about me from first glance is that I’m really goofy haha. I usually don’t take things that seriously and I laugh a lot. In fact, when I’m with my friends, we’re basically laughing the whole time.”

The girl smiled, and we shared a sweet conversation afterwards. Something about her question broke down the invisible barrier of professionalism, and suddenly we were just two people talking. We laughed and joked and chatted about completely frivolous things for a few minutes.

But her question really got me thinking afterwards.

At first, I wondered if maybe my personality wasn’t coming through very much when I spoke. Although I weave in personal stories and try to be true to who I am, perhaps the nature of speaking on a stage naturally comes across more formally than I realize.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized her question wasn’t really about that.

It was a reminder that no matter how many stories we tell or how authentic we try to be, there is always more to a person than what can fit into a forty-minute message.

There’s always a version of someone that exists beyond their bio, beyond their accomplishments, beyond the role they happen to be filling in that moment.

And I think my hope when I meet people at events like these is that they would get to experience that version of me too.

Not just the speaker.

The person.

The girl who laughs too hard at silly jokes. The girl who rarely takes herself too seriously. The girl who can spend an entire evening talking with friends about absolutely nothing important.

I’ve always felt a slight disconnect between dressing up in my blazers and nice pants to go speak at events, and being home with my sisters piled on top of each other laughing at the silliest things.

Sometimes I wonder which version of me people think is the real one—the speaker on stage or the girl who can’t make it through dinner with her friends without laughing so hard she cries.

I’m sure many people feel this tension. I’m sure they’d say it’s just a natural part of life.

But I’ve become increasingly convinced that authenticity means bringing the same person into every room you enter.

Not trying to impress.

Not trying to be someone else.

Not trying to fit a certain mold or expectation.

Just showing up as yourself.

Especially as someone who speaks about faith and living confidently and authentically, it only makes sense that I pursue that myself.

I wonder what it would look like to walk as authentically as I can into every space I enter.

To wear the blazer without becoming a different person.

To stand on the stage without performing a version of myself.

To speak and laugh and lead and connect as the same person.

And to have the courage to leave people knowing me rather than impressed by me.

That’s the kind of speaker, and more importantly, the kind of person, I hope to be.

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